I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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