yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
