By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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