If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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