Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
