Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Randomize
