I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
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