I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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