Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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