This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Vodka?
Forever.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
