think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
