If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
