im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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