Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
