I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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