dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
