I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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