I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
