Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
