a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
