were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
