If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Randomize
