i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
