wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
