I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
How's work?
Spinning.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
