you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
