hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
smell my finger.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
