I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
