Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
