Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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