Jerry, you need to find god
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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