why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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