I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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