Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
