he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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