I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
