would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
This baby is an asshole
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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