He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
whose parrot is this?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
