OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
