First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
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