Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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