there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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