u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
