their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
