you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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