have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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