they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
