Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Randomize
