I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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