Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
