She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
