Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
