I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
