No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
