I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
